Happy New Year, my friend! What a blessing it is to have another year before us. Usually in the first few weeks of a new year, I think on what might God have for me THIS year. It's never turns out to be what I think in my head. He always is faithful to send something my way that my mind hasn't thought of to be sure that I must rely on His Grace and Strength alone. I look back on 2012 with my jaw on the floor. The ups and downs were probably the largest I've ever seen. I'm still thinking on those and here we go on to 2013.
I do know that my Savior is doing a work in my heart like none before. You know how you sit and read your devotions, get up, and the first words out of your mouth you need to ask forgiveness for! You pray and meditate, pray and beg, pray and pray and pray for God to change you from the inside out so the He will receive the glory. You are not alone. This Momma struggles daily with every step, every word, every thought being in obedience to Jesus Christ. That includes the daily life and tasks of a special needs momma. He knows the desire of my heart... to stay out of the hospital, to lessen Boo's doctor appointment load, her therapy load, her med list. Jesus and I have had numerous conversations about this. He has promised me that HE KNOWS. He knows me. He knows our girl. He knows our house. He knows the past. He knows the future.... and He is there. He tells us in Philippians to 'be anxious for nothing'. POSITIVELY NOTHING! We aren't even supposed to worry about what we will eat tomorrow, because He is there and knows exactly what we will need. All He asks of us is to trust Him completely. And you know what? He already knows that we will fail. That we will say 'sorry, lets try this again'. I wish I could convey to you that after walking with Him for almost 18 years, the peace that is settling into my soul is supernatural. It's the peace that is spoken of in Philippians that 'surpasses all understanding.'
My God is capable of completely healing Boo. I know that with one single word from His Throne, she could be healed. There are days I am on my knees for this. Then I realize, Boo is Boo. Why would I want to change her. Yes, I long for her to be pain free, to not to be held captive in her little body. But do you know what she is doing? She is pointing others to God. Thru her suffering, her sweet spirit, her determination, her bravery, her peace. God is supplying her with huge amounts of grace, peace, and strength so that SHE is a vessel for honor. She comes in contact with so many doctors, therapists, teachers, etc. They are all aware she has defied the odds of living....pointing them to her Almighty Creator. Our Boo has great reward in heaven. One day, when we are there, I am sure that I will be blown away by this hero of the faith that has been given to me as a daughter.
So this year, I pray for all of our special needs kiddos who have been Created Beautifully Special. God has a plan. A plan to show His love to those all around. I pray for us Momma's... that we will be aiding these vessels as we ourselves dedicate to walk with the Lord each step of this journey. That is the only way to do it and remain at peace. Otherwise, we look like a chicken with our head cut off.... and the sensory kiddos really don't like that! =)
Here's to you. Here's to me. Here's to this new year being Created Beautifully Special in Him.
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