I really want to set the record straight (at least from my momma point of view) on a subject that I have had to advocate repeatedly with my Boo. I was in a conversation today where I was totally at a loss for words as someone clearly had no clue about what they were talking about. The subject: Non-Verbal = No Communication.
What does Non-Verbal mean? In many ways, it means different things to different people. For example: To a doctor, it may mean zero to no words written on an evaluation. To a therapist/teacher it means a student for them to teach. To a Momma, it may mean never hearing the audible words 'I Love you'. I could go on..... however, there is one thing it absolutely does NOT mean. It does not indicate that someone cannot communicate! It gets me every time someone says, 'Oh, she doesn't talk, so how do you know what she wants? Or how do you know she is in pain?' Have you ever heard of body language? Or maybe it's a new theory called 'Momma's Intuition'. Sometimes, when there are no verbal sounds, my girl buries her head in my chest. I know then that she needs me to hold her. She also has this way of rubbing her nose against mine- code for 'I Love You'. What about when she grabs my hand and pulls me to the kitchen and points to the snack that she wants. There are also cues that she is uncomfortable or in pain. I know when she needs to go potty or wants to go play. It's pretty apparent when she is happy or sad.... or just wants to be left alone. Are there times I have no clue? You bet! But every single momma will tell you that they know their child. And when they say something is wrong, you'd better listen!
To prove my point even further, my girl is now somewhat verbal. Would the average Joe understand her? Probably not. But those who see her daily know exactly what she verbalizes. Now, when she rubs our noses together, she says, 'I Love You.' When she scissors her legs, she says 'Hurts'. You get my jist. Body language was our first 'words'. She knows how to tell me what she needs me to know.
I will never forget, one time registering at the Emergency Room late one night, the nurse, after reading the list of diagnosis asked, 'Is she verbal?'. I said, 'Not to you.' She then responded, 'Are you the primary caregiver.' YES I said. She then told me that she would make sure under no circumstances would we be separated so that I could communicate to them what my girl needed. Now there was someone who understood what this is all about! I was so thankful for that woman. She was truly an angel that night.
We all communicate non-verbally, every single one of us! Why are our special kiddos treated like something foreign? These kiddos are in there....just like you and me. They have wants, needs, are smart, compassionate, loving, scared, happy, sad, excited, playful and most of them have a great sense of humor! You just have to 'talk' their language. Please remember, the next time you see a quieter kiddo, don't write them off. Try to connect and see what beautiful language they are speaking to you. You will be changed for the better!
